The Appraiser

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I have recently discovered a new way to determine the value of things that I own. Last Friday I went to the beach with some friends and instinctively took off my wedding ring to put suncreen on Baby M. As I was doing this I turned to say something to a friend and when I looked back, M was twisting something around in his fingers. Panic set in as I realized that my rings were no longer where I had placed them and with a mad intensity I grabbed one out of his fingers. My friends heard a crazed "Open your mouth! Please don't swallow that! No!" and thought to themselves, "Geez, it's just sand!" But when I pulled my other ring out of his mouth we all shared a good laugh as my blood pressure returned to normal. All I could think was, "I really don't want to sift through your diapers for this!" And then I would always look at my beautiful ring as "The Poop Ring".

Of course this is not the first time Baby M has put something in his mouth. But I now know that I can assign value to an item simply by how I react.

- Paper: Eh, it's fiber.
- My Arm/Leg/Shirt/Hair: I'm washable.
- Other People's Arms/Legs/Shirts/Hair: I'm so sorry! Do you want me to take him?
- Pots and Pans: Thank goodness for Dawn.
- Sand/Grass: A little dirt never hurt anyone, but that is really disgusting!
- My Wedding Rings: See above

I guess when you have a baby you realize that most stuff is washable or just isn't that important. But noone, not even supermom wants to sift through a diaper for a wedding ring.

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