zach n kali

It's been a few weeks since our sweet baby D went back home to his family.  What a roller coaster! Sometimes fun, sometimes exhausting, sometimes frustrating, sometimes fulfilling... you name it, we probably felt it.  And our family grew in leaps and bounds.  After a very rough first week, I told Zach that I didn't think we could do it, that I was too tired, and that the kids were suffering - suffering, gasp, because they no longer had my complete and undivided attention!  Suffering because they had to wait their turn, and suffering because my lap was sometimes filled with someone else!  And Zach said the most amazing thing, the thing that carried me and will carry me through each new placement.  He said, "Our kids are fine.  They know that we love each other and that we love them.  Matt is at an age where he needs to learn that we have an open home, that we love other people too.  And Peyton is at an age where she needs to learn that she is ...

My sweet husband came home for lunch today, my birthday, with cupcakes and a grand gesture - he would let me take a shower while he kept an eye on the kids.  Great.  This is what my life has come to.  My birthday present is a shower.  And... I'm excited about it. The past three months of three three and under have been rough.  Some days I have felt like I've just gone through the motions.  Some days are so monotonous that I really can't even tell you how the week's been.  And some days have been so rough that I just want to cry into my pillow at night, feeling like an utter failure.  And some days are so fun that I can't wait to tell anyone and everyone that I am the luckiest person in the world with the best job.  And those days often have to carry me through the others. The problem with all of that is that I'm relying on other people and circumstances to make me happy.  I am relying on "something" to make the day worth it.  An...

I love Anniversaries!  Be they wedding anniversaries, birthdays, celebrating the first day you bought a car, I love taking time out of the mundane to celebrate special moments.  Our wedding anniversary is one of my favorite times of year.  We are really bad at having regular date nights (unless zoning out while watching The Good Wife counts, because we're really good at that!), so it's really important for us that we take time to just be together, distractionless, reliving our highs, talking through our lows, and recharging.  For our fifth anniversary last year we went to the Bahamas for a week.  Other years we've gone back to our favorite spots in Cambria and St. George. This year we managed to swing a private viewing of the Aquarium of the Pacific with a romantic dinner for two from one of our favorite restaurants.  We had a babysitter, a romantic table, and a piano nearby with someone ready to serenade us as we ate and watched the sharks swim lazily by...

I woke up this morning with a bad case of The Mondays.  I mean bad.  Monday is usually a reset day for us after busy weekends.  But this morning I was just over it.  I didn't want to unload the dishwasher.  I didn't want to change Matt's sheets (potty training is great, but exhausting).  I kind of just wanted to sit in a corner with my coffee and pout.  But if I decide to be Mrs. Crankypants, then the kids become Crankypants Jrs, and that just makes everything worse.  I just felt like life was on this 'lather, rinse, repeat, lather, rinse, repeat' cycle of monotony. Pick up the toys just so the kids can dump them out again.  Unload the dishwasher just to load it up again.  Read Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs again.  Again again again. But then by my second cup of coffee, I remembered what someone at church said a few weeks ago.  A Stay-At-Home-Mom herself, she felt caught up in the same monotony.  But she shared that ...

I have been having so much fun cooking this week!  Since removing the staples last week, I have been reminded that we eat not only for fuel, but for enjoyment, for memories, and for new experiences.  This isn't a new idea for me, but I seem to have forgotten that these things are not just for entertaining or for large gatherings of families and friends.  I had to dial myself way back when planning Matt's 3rd birthday party - we were having hot dogs and nachos (movie theater food) and I was ready to throw out brats, ciabatta rolls, and carne asada when Zach gently reminded me that we were planning a party for a three year old.  I love food!  I plan any get-together around the food.  But why should weekly dinners get any less respect?  I want my kids to grow up around the dinner table.  I want them to try new foods, to not even look at a "children's menu", and to be excited to come together as a family at night.  Tacos, spaghetti, and turkey bu...

Dear Mr. Manning, This is my daughter Peyton. She is 8 months old, and the most adorable, precocious, and sweet spirited baby you will ever meet (except for your own, of course). She is a wiggler, a giggler, a smiler, and is in fact named after you. She might not be fond of being named after a male football player when she's 15, but if it wasn't this, then I'm sure she'd find something else to be angry at us for.  Many people who don't know us well assume that my husband chose her name and that he's the big NFL fan, but it was in fact me; I've known for years that I would name one of my children after you, boy or girl. I've been your fan since you were drafted, and have watched you take the Colts from the worst team in the NFL (I have proof in the form of a Monopoly board ) to being Super Bowl champions. And when you became a Bronco, it brought me full circle, back to my dad who has been a lifelong-live-and-die-with-them-don't-talk-to-him-ti...

Many of you have asked us for an update in regards to where we are in the foster/adoption process with Baby M.  It has been quite a journey, and I feel that I am still processing each new piece of information!  To be honest, it's one that we feel more comfortable sharing with you over a cup of coffee rather than on the internet, but we want to thank you for the prayers and support we have received from you over the past year.  A year ago we had almost finished our foster certification when we hit an unanticipated snag as we waited for a set of fingerprints to clear.  At the time it didn't make sense, and the only thing that kept us going was the knowledge that God was in control and that he was working to bring the right baby into our home at the right time.  A year later, we know that this was true as we move into the next stage of adoption!  We cannot believe God's grace and goodness as we now begin to take the necessary steps to make Baby M a part of our...

What in the world happened to Christmas?  I'm pretty sure that the last time I looked at the calendar, it was December 1st.  This holiday season flew like no other, and we were so blessed by our time with family and close friends.  With thankful hearts we briefly recap our year: January :  I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and began an outpatient pain management program while Zach tried to take control of his first class of middle schoolers at Valadez Middle School Academy.  Wonderful friends and family threw us two baby showers and encouraged us as we continued working towards our foster care certification. February :  We celebrated our third anniversary! March:  I turned 25 and survived. April: We finished our foster care certification and were immediately visited by the stork - we brought Baby M home, and our lives will never be the same.  We spent an incredible week on vacation in Cayucos with Zach's family. May :  We decided t...

Somehow November disappeared.  As I look at our beautiful Christmas tree and the rain falling outside (our California version of snow) I don't know when we got here.  Where did the month of Thanksgiving go?  In light of the fact that I dropped of the radar for a month, I would like to post the top 3 things I am most thankful for. 1.  The daily saving grace given to me by my Heavenly Father Being a mom is hard.  Having fibromyalgia is hard.  Being human is hard!  But thankfully I'm not going through my day alone, and I have someone fighting in my corner, giving me strength when I need it, peace amidst turmoil, and wisdom when I lack it.  I have a tendency to worry about the future, but thankfully I often hear my very wise mother's voice in my head: "One day at a time".  We are given exactly what we need for the moment;  why try to make things harder by adding the burdens of tomorrow?  God's mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:2...

I love baby dedications; I think I cry every single time.  We were incredible blessed yesterday to dedicate our sweet Baby M to God before our church family.  Our family joined us at church and we were more than excited.  But in the true spirit of unpredictability, M decided that he didn't like being on stage, and he screamed the entire time.  Who would have thought that my sweet mellow child would be the one to absolutely freak out during his dedication?  Not me.  I was flustered, embarrassed, and pretty upset.  You have an idea of how something will go and you want to remember the day a certain way, and it's upsetting when things don't go as you imagine. After the service, our pastor came up to us and said the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth.  I was waiting for the inevitable, "Well... that was something else..."  But instead, with a huge smile on his face, he said "That was cool".  I'm sorry, what?  Cool?  H...

Zach and I were given the wonderful opportunity to go away together for a few days this weekend. My wonderful in-laws watched Baby M, and Zach and I packed ourselves up in a miraculous 30 minutes and headed off to sunny San Diego. We spent the day at Sea World, staring in pity at the poor parents who had to deal with stroller parking and sit through the Elmo show. We enjoyed Cirque de la Mare and the Blue Horizons show and stared at Beluga whales and turtles. After checking into our hotel we headed for an awesome dinner at Bandu, a Persian restaurant in the Gaslamp district. My meal could have fed a family of four! The portions were huge and the food was awesome! We enjoyed chicken and ground beef kebabs with rice and grilled tomatoes. There was not a splotch of pureed squash to be found! Around nine o' clock we headed back to our car, watching the city wake up around us; clubs were filling, restaurants were in full swing. The night was young and the town was ours for the...

They say it takes a village to raise a family. I am so incredibly blessed to be a part of many villages. There is my family – incredible people who have already accepted our little one as their grandbaby, their niece or nephew, their cousin. I am humbled and honored to be part of a church that is willing to make everyone family. The wonderful ladies of Sunkist showered us with beautiful gifts to help raise our little one. Whether birthed by me or not, these little ones will be our children and I am so blessed to know that our church will step up and love them and support them, and pray for them, as such. This is what a church should be – not a place of judgment or façades. It is a place where people rise up to help their brothers and sisters and welcome us just as we are. And then there is my village of friends. Thank you all – friends, family, and church - for the encouragement, support, and love that you have all shown us as we have headed into very unknown territory. We lo...