Dear Baby Boy

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Dear Baby Boy,

I know, I know, you're not a baby anymore, but you are my Baby Boy forever.  Deal with it.  But today my heartstrings were pulled in a new way.  Today I put up your first sport's pennant.  It shouldn't have been a big deal.  But it was.  It was the first thing that I didn't "design" for your room.  It was the first thing YOU wanted on your wall.  It was the first semblance of moving from a little boy's room to... well, a big boy's room.  I love your room - the colors, the vibrancy, your growth chart - it's all warm and inviting.  It's a cool little boy's room.  But the truth is that you won't want crayon art or trucks on your walls forever.  That car rug will be gone before I know it.  And one day we'll have to figure out how to paint over that chalkboard.  But it's never felt soon.  And today it did.  It felt like I would be trying to drag you out of bed for your first day of high school tomorrow (ok, so I'm a bit dramatic, but I'm your mother and I get a few passes).  And I didn't like that.  Right now you're playing in your room with your cars by yourself.  It's amazing - I love listening to your creativity and seeing your independence.  And at first it was a welcome little break... until I wondered where the little baby on the blanket who loved to play peek-a-boo went.

The next time you want to snuggle, I will put the computer down.  The next time you bring me a book, I will read it to you instead of telling you to read it alone.  The next time you say "I love you, Mommy", I will grab you in a hug and possibly never let you go.  That Dodger's pennant is a visual reminder to me of how fast time is going.  I know there are so many good things ahead.  But there are so many good things going on right now too, and I don't want to miss any of them.  I promise you that I will strive to be mindful of the here and the now.  Every day with you is a gift, and I can't believe I get to be your Mommy.  I love you today, I loved you yesterday, and tomorrow I will love you even more - even as you transition from this precious baby to an incredible little boy.

Love, Mommy

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