Is This It?

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Dear Lord,

Is this it? Poopy diapers? A laundry basket that seems as though it comes from the Harry Potter stories - I empty it and then look again and it's full? And the spit up, it just keeps coming! He's so unhappy right now, and I just don't know how to fix it! Really Lord? Did he have to stick his hand in the dirty diaper? Oh Lord, this isn't what I had planned! I have a college degree! I was going to have letters after my name! I got to wear heels and clack down the hall importantly! I had "work clothes"! Now I just have clothes... sometimes four outfits a day! And do you know how much energy it takes to get the stroller in and out of the car!? My friends don't want to hear my stories about poop and spit up, but they're the only stories I have! Lord, is this really it?

Oh Lord, he's smiling! He's reaching for me. Oh Lord that little contented sigh is so sweet! Oh Lord, is this really it? Do I really get to be the person who calms a crying baby? Do I really get to give kisses all day long? Do I really get to stay in my pajamas as long as I want? Do I really get to cheer him on as he develops and hold him when he hurts? Can you really use me to make a difference in a child's life? Do I really get to read and play with someone I absolutely adore? Is this really what you have for me? Wow, I am so blessed.

Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 2, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    Ah, dear Kali! Yes. Yes, this IS it. . .for this day, for this night, for this child--you were born for these moments right now. Of course, as you well know, there will be other moments--different kinds of days and nights, some more exhausting or humdrum or perplexing or even terrifing--but none more precious than these! For, THIS is the day (and the life and the child) that the Lord has made just for YOU right now. What a privilege it is for me to be glad and rejoice in them with you (both via this blog and in person!). Tami and I are SO very proud of you [and grateful to God for you].

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