Monitored Visits

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I've been meaning to write about this for a while now, but somehow time just flies by! About a month ago I got the call to take Baby M to our agency for his first visit with his bio mom. My stomach dropped. He had been with us for two weeks at that point and we were completely in love with him. But the reality remained that he still had biological parents out there who were hopefully working on getting their lives together so that they could be reunited. It was a gut check reminder that Baby M was not going to be with us forever. I spent the rest of the morning feeling anxious and even a little hurt. I wanted to protect M, and these were the people who couldn't take care of him like we could. Why couldn't life just stay the way it was?

I checked the mail when I got home and I found a letter from our agency. In addition to the monthly newsletter there was an insert with a letter from a mother who had been reunited with her children after completing the court requirements. The hurt and anguish of having her children taken from her was so evident; she wasn't a bad person, she was just ill-equipped to handle some of the things that life threw at her. Fortunately, she had Olive Crest, the one place she could turn to. She learned the tools she needed to take care of herself and her children. And she was reunited with them, stronger than ever.

The letter is still on my fridge and is a daily reminder of why we're doing this. We love Baby M so much, but there are others who love him too. There is a mother out there who is working to be reunited with her son. I don't know her situation or her mindset, but I have to live each day knowing I have the privilege of caring for him now, but he's on loan to me. This was a hard lesson, but one that is incredibly important to learn and be reminded of in this foster care journey.

Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 29, 2011 at 8:27 AM

    I think what you're doing is awesome and great, hard and heartbreaking and very selfless. But all things worth doung or having are. God doesn't give us His supernatural grace and strength for normal everyday stress, although those too can add up! :-) We are raising a guide dog and I'm in no way comparing the two. Except we constantly have people come up to us and ask how we can do this? And that "they" could never give up a g
    dog after 16-18 months. When people say this my first thought is the good this dog will hopefully do outweighs the hard by a long shot and my next thought goes to ..... This is just a dog, okay a really adorable dog we have raised from 8 weeks old, bit still a dog And yes it will hurt and in fact it did hurt, our first puppy Nevin, who was such a great dog was dropped from the program at 9 months and he was just too young and wild to keep and still do the program so I cried for a week until we got Ticklish (we didn't name him) and I still cried. But I know Nevin is going to a good home and I know God planned for us to have Ticklish for reasons I won't go into here, but the bottom line they are just dogs. You are doing the same thong only with a chid and I cant tell you enough how much I admire you and pray for you. I know the hassles of the up and down roller coster and the meetings, traings, investing your heart knowing hoping one day one of these dogs we will get to keep, but I only know it from rasing a cute puppy. You are many crowns a head of me. God will be there with you every step of the way and if you think about it all children are on loan and most cause unbearable heartbreak. God is what makes the difference. I'm very proud of you and. zach. You three are in our prayers. Robyn Smith. (I hope this came out okay. I'm doing it on my phone and it's so small I can't read it. So if there are any words that shouldn't be there, it's not my fault.! :-)

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