M and I are having one of those days. He's acting like a 1 year old and I want him to understand me like a 5 year old. Every time I turn around, something has been pulled off a shelf. Every time I try to do something like empty the dishwasher, M needs me with sudden clinginess. Instead of saying please, I constantly am reminding him not to whine. His room is covered in books, clothes that he's pulled out of his drawer, and diapers (thankfully clean!). I'm exhausted and ready to close my bedroom door and cry. But instead I bend to pick up the books and realize that his daily flip calendar is still on March. So I change it to today's date, and here was the verse: 1 Samuel 1:27 (NCV) "I prayed for this child, and the Lord answered my prayer and gave him to me." Then the tears came. I have been praying for this sweet little boy since before I knew him. It has always been my heart's desire to be a mother, and he has heard ...
My mom's birthday is coming up. A day that used to inspire joy now comes barreling at me, a reminder that she was too young to go. The idea of milestone birthdays and anniversaries rings more shallow to me now. Don't wait to celebrate. Don't put off a party or a celebration or a vacation together because it's not "a big one". My mom didn't make it to her 60th. This year she would be 63 and I wish I could throw her the biggest damn party she'd ever seen. Or surprise her with tickets to Broadway. Don't push off celebrating. I've been sitting in grief today. I opened the pages of the second volume of Every Moment Holy: Death, Grief, and Hope, a gift from my grandmother. A gift for no occasion. Be like her - buy the gift and send it when you think of someone. Don't wait for a reason or an event. You speak love when you do this. Send the card, text the verse, leave a voicemail. The saved voicemails I have from my mom are...
Every person needs to find out what their reset button is. It doesn't matter if you're a mom, a man, a woman, single, or married, everyone has a time when they need to just reset their day. Maybe you missed your train, or your alarm clock didn't go off. Maybe you got yelled at or got in a fight with your mom. Sometimes your system just starts to crash, and the only way to avoid a complete hard drive failure is to reboot. Mine started to crash today after I accidentally fell asleep on the couch while Matty was playing nicely in the living room. This should be the perfect time for a tiny cat nap, right? Toddler plays quietly with his blocks and Mommy quickly dozes. Anyone who has ever seen a toddler knows where this is going. Toddlers have something called "stealth mode". It gives them the ability to a.) realize that mommy or daddy isn't paying attention, even when their back is turned, and b.) gives them the power to perform a...
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