The Lavish Love of the Father
It's been six months since my mom met Jesus face to face. Over these six months I have cried, agonized, and missed her so desperately I have felt as though my heart and guts were being ripped from my body. I have asked "Why?" over and over again. I have felt cheated, angered, and jealous of those who have been given more than sixty years with their own mothers. I have had panic attacks over our decision to let her go, even though I know that it was the right choice. I have questioned almost everything - except one thing. I have never questioned God's love.
God loved my mom. Looking at her life, it might not seem like it. How could a good and loving God allow her body to absolutely fail her? How could a loving God allow someone as energetic and vibrant and Kingdom-focused reduce her to a shell of who she was? How selfish could he be to allow himself to be given glory through her suffering? Throughout her life, I questioned a lot; but I never questioned his love - because she didn't.
God loved my mom. I believe he couldn't wait to bring his beautiful good and faithful servant home to be with Him forever. But he knew there was work to be done through her. He knew she had things she wanted to see and do - her kids grow up, send others into the mission field, spend time with her husband... and so God allowed her more time here. He sacrificed his time with her to allow her to see each of her children graduate college, get married, and have children. She was allowed to see her children grow up in the fullest of terms - which was her greatest desire aside from briging glory to the God she loved.
God loved my mother. He allowed her to be brought into his presence directly from the arms of her loved ones. He gave her the words and the energy to ask for each of her children by name from her hospital bed. He gave her the breath to hold on until I, my brother, my sister, and countless other family members and dear friends could say goodbye. She was held in the arms of the man who loved her fiercely, was utterly devoted to her, and carried her into her Father's arms bathed in love, tears, prayer, and family. And though we grieve, we know that God gave us the most precious gift in her passing. He allowed us hand our beloved mother directly from our arms and into his. God loves us. Of this I have absolutely no doubt.
God loves us. Through the pain of the last six months, our family has been carried by so many others. The meals, the phone calls and texts, the Bible verses, the prayers - each of these has been tangible, overwhelming evidence of God's love for us. I used to joke that my mom could never die, because she was the glue that held our crazy family together. But the truth is that we've never been closer. The pain has bonded us, strengthening us as a family, which once again points us to the love of our Father. God is sustaining us in our weakness, just as he did my mom. God loved my mom. Giving her to us for as long as he did was an act of incredible love. May we honor her life by continuing to press into the love that God lavished upon her and continues to show us daily.
God loved my mom. Looking at her life, it might not seem like it. How could a good and loving God allow her body to absolutely fail her? How could a loving God allow someone as energetic and vibrant and Kingdom-focused reduce her to a shell of who she was? How selfish could he be to allow himself to be given glory through her suffering? Throughout her life, I questioned a lot; but I never questioned his love - because she didn't.
God loved my mom. I believe he couldn't wait to bring his beautiful good and faithful servant home to be with Him forever. But he knew there was work to be done through her. He knew she had things she wanted to see and do - her kids grow up, send others into the mission field, spend time with her husband... and so God allowed her more time here. He sacrificed his time with her to allow her to see each of her children graduate college, get married, and have children. She was allowed to see her children grow up in the fullest of terms - which was her greatest desire aside from briging glory to the God she loved.
God loved my mother. He allowed her to be brought into his presence directly from the arms of her loved ones. He gave her the words and the energy to ask for each of her children by name from her hospital bed. He gave her the breath to hold on until I, my brother, my sister, and countless other family members and dear friends could say goodbye. She was held in the arms of the man who loved her fiercely, was utterly devoted to her, and carried her into her Father's arms bathed in love, tears, prayer, and family. And though we grieve, we know that God gave us the most precious gift in her passing. He allowed us hand our beloved mother directly from our arms and into his. God loves us. Of this I have absolutely no doubt.
God loves us. Through the pain of the last six months, our family has been carried by so many others. The meals, the phone calls and texts, the Bible verses, the prayers - each of these has been tangible, overwhelming evidence of God's love for us. I used to joke that my mom could never die, because she was the glue that held our crazy family together. But the truth is that we've never been closer. The pain has bonded us, strengthening us as a family, which once again points us to the love of our Father. God is sustaining us in our weakness, just as he did my mom. God loved my mom. Giving her to us for as long as he did was an act of incredible love. May we honor her life by continuing to press into the love that God lavished upon her and continues to show us daily.
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