Well Done

On January 8th, Jesus welcomed my mother saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant". On January 19th we celebrated her life with friends and family. I thought long and hard over what I would share during her service.  Words could never do this incredible woman justice. I thought about the suffering she endured here on earth. So much suffering. There is no question about the MS that took a toll on her body, especially over the last 14 years. But no one has really addressed the suffering that my mom dealt with from 1998-2008 as she raised three preteens and teenagers. People have talked about the joy she had as she chose Jesus instead of bitterness, but what about the joy she chose to find in sitting through 27 middle school and high school plays – not just once, but every single performance? She deserves a plaque at Vienna Christian School. We talk about Mom's perseverance through her pain, but what about the ways that she persevered through conversation as I recounted my day at school, even as I included details such as, “and then the bell rang and I walked down the hall...” The self-control she demonstrated in not killing us as we dealt with the blows of adolescence? Even before her relapse, my mom was a living breathing example of the Spirit alive and at work.

A lot of people think that you have to be a Do-er to be a warrior for Christ. Hudson Taylor, William Carey, Jim Elliot, Eric Liddell – evangelists, preachers, a literal runner for the Lord. When my mom was in junior high, she decided that she would spend her life doing things for her Lord, pointing people to Jesus. Biblically speaking, you could maybe say that Mom was a Martha. But sometimes the way that we want to accomplish things isn't how God wants to work. He didn't need Mom to be a Martha. He needed a Mary.

"Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  Luke 10:38-41

While looking through pictures last week, we stumbled on a journal that my mom wrote during the time she was being diagnosed with MS. Her world, he plans, her dreams were being completely turned upside down. I thought I would share a few entries with you.

June 25, 1991 “I am in constant awe of you, God. You fill me with such peace and such longing and desire for you. I have learned so much this past month. About you, God, about me, about my family. It has been a difficult month – filled with fear of the unknown, but learning to trust you God in my utter weakness. Resting in you and finding my strength in you.... My 12 day stay in the hospital was filled with some scary moments as I contemplated what “disease” I had. I still don't know – but it's ok. I'm content in my Lord Jesus. Thank you for giving me this time Lord to be with you – to grow in you – to be refreshed. You are so wonderful, so good. I feel like our communication God has reached a new level, a new depth. I have drawn nearer to God and with a longing in my heart. I will draw nearer still.”

July 3, 1991 “I've returned for 2 days in the hospital... As I sit having my quiet time … I'm happy drawing near to God. It's a wonderful place to be and I feel the Lord at work within me... I yearn for the quiet moments with my Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you Jesus that you've given this time to me – it is special and I treasure you; I treasure my time with you. You have given me wonderful gifts – my wonderful husband and three beautiful children. A wonderful place to minister. Lord, it is my desire to know you and draw near to you – please help me do that. You alone reign unchallenged in my heart. It must be so – in order for me to serve you through the gifts you have given me. Thank you, Lord.”

November 5, 1991 “I've learned a lot this summer and yet I've got so much to learn still. I do know that I have a burning desire to sit at Jesus' feet and learn from him. I want to get into his word and learn and trust and obey... I'm learning that God is my strength and my refuge. So much lies in his character and who he is – I must trust that. He is faithful to me and will never leave me. He is steadfast. He has all planned for His good and his purposes. I want – in all this – for God to be honored and glorified. I want to serve him... God has called us to be faithful and he called us to go to Romania – so by faith, then we are going. God is my refuge and my strength – in him will I rest and find my hope. He is my hope – he is the hope of the world... I need to continuously have my heart set on God and prayer throughout the day and learn his word and hide it in my heart... I need to fill myself with the word of God and grow and become more like Jesus so I can better serve him and love my family better and serve others better.”

January 13, 1992 “I've learned a lot about myself and my limitations and I'm not too happy with my discoveries. But it's my prayer that God will continue to work in spite of me and through me and that I give the glory to him... may I be up to the task of serving him here in Oradea, however that may be. And may I remain faithful to God and sit at his feet. And though I don't have much outside influence or activity, may I faithfully serve God in whatever my capacity is and be satisfied with that.”

March 14, 1992 “I'm still having a hard time letting go of the past – the me I used to be and what I could do. But God is drawing me to himself – creating, molding, and shaping me to be more like him... We must move on with the hope and expectation of what is to be and serve God is obedience and faith... At these times I want most to rest , relax, and draw near to my God. I want him to chip away at me and make me more like Jesus and he is I think. My prayer is that he not so much heal me from MS – though I know he could in an instant – but that he use this in my life to glorify himself and bring honor to his name and make me more like him – so I can love and serve him more and love my family more too. Lord, you are so good to me.”

A lifetime of prayers answered. God did exactly as she asked – he brought glory to himself through this incredible woman. These are words that could have been spoken by an evangelist. Maybe that's what Mom thought she would be, but I never heard her talk like this. I never heard her preach or directly share the gospel. But that's not what God needed from Mom. He needed her to reflect him by being a Mary. What I saw in my mom was a woman who's life was exemplified by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, good, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. This fruit came not by her own labor, her own “doing”. This fruit could only come through the Lord's work in her life. Mom pointed to God in everything she did by being willing to sit at her Lord's feet and listen. A life lived for Christ will produce fruit, regardless of whether we are “doing”, whether life goes according to your plan. May her memory encourage us to stop and sit at the feet of Jesus that she loved so much.