This Side of Five Years

-
It's time to be updated!  It's time to move on from "The Five Year Plan - Revised" because Zach and I are now on the other side of our first 5 years!  This also means that I am only two years away from being thirty... but more on my own aging issues later.

I cannot tell you how many couples I have met who tell me that they plan on having kids "probably in about five years".  Why is 5 the magic number?  Please do not take this condescendingly - I was one of them.  What do we think would happen in these five years that would make us ready for children?  What do we hope to accomplish?  Where do we want to travel?  How many bucket list items do we hope to cross off?  I had it so nicely planned out.  Married at 22, career at 23, kids at 27, house by 30...  With these numbers I'd probably be telling my kids that I would be a grandma at 60 - no arguing!  Who did I think I was?  God?  Thankfully he is patient and didn't smite me for my planning, but I'm sure I gave him a chuckle.  

Thankfully living life with God means learning some lessons along the way.  What have I learned in the past five years?  Too many things to count.  You can't foresee illness.  You'll never be "ready" for kids.  Never say never.  I really like cupcakes.  Gluten free food is gross.  Gluten free food can be amazing.  A clean home doesn't necessarily mean a happy home - and vice versa.  Having kids causes you to lose brain cells.   And your keys.  And sometimes your sanity.  Marriage is a lot of work.  Marriage is a lot of fun.  The Energizer Bunny is based on toddlers.  Sometimes I act like a martyr.  I secretly like watching Blues Clues.  I check my phone way too many times during the day.  Legos will inevitably find their way under your bare feet.  Sometimes curse words just slip out.  Lessons easy and hard.  The main thing that I have learned though, is that I am not where I thought I would be.  2 kids at 27.  "Career" ended at 25.  We're still renting.  And I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.  For all the planning I did, we've been on quite a different journey.  

Is planning wrong?  I hope not - it's in my blood.  I think I am honestly happiest when I am planning.  We held Matt's birthday party a few weeks ago and after it I immediately started working on plans for Peyton's - for November!  Sonia Sotomayor wrote in her memoir My Beloved World that "you cannot value dreams according to the odds of their coming true.  Their real value is in stirring within us the will to aspire".  I love this.  I never want to stop aspiring.  I never want to stop dreaming.  But I have to do this with two things in mind:  1).  I have to stop and be content where I am.  Dreaming becomes a problem when it makes you discontent with what you have.  2). I can dream as long as I dream with open hands.  I can plan as long as I am willing to submit these plans to the Lord and trust that He has my good in mind and that if we take a detour or if I never realize my dreams, that it is ok and that it truly is for the best.  I have always loved Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'".  For a planner like me, this is one of the best promises ever - God's planning too.  

Comments

  1. fayeSeptember 24, 2013 at 3:53 PM

    Kali, I love your writing! Even though I'm a grandma now, this brings a smile to my face and joy to my heart. Thinking of all the things that I had "planned" and how my life has fulfilled so many of my dreams in spite of my planning! Thank you.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Have Prayed for This Child

-
M and I are having one of those days.  He's acting like a 1 year old and I want him to understand me like a 5 year old.  Every time I turn around, something has been pulled off a shelf.  Every time I try to do something like empty the dishwasher, M needs me with sudden clinginess.  Instead of saying please, I constantly am reminding him not to whine.  His room is covered in books, clothes that he's pulled out of his drawer, and diapers (thankfully clean!).  I'm exhausted and ready to close my bedroom door and cry.  But instead I bend to pick up the books and realize that his daily flip calendar is still on March.  So I change it to today's date, and here was the verse: 1 Samuel 1:27 (NCV) "I prayed for this child, and the Lord answered my prayer and gave him to me." Then the tears came.  I have been praying for this sweet little boy since before I knew him.  It has always been my  heart's desire to be a mother, and he has heard ...
Read more

When Words Don't Come

-
Sometimes words just cannot describe what you are feeling.  Sometimes they just don't capture a moment well-enough.  Not for lack of desire or trying, but sometimes the words just don't come.  Two weeks ago I wanted to sit down and blog about the most wonderful thing that had happened.  Two weeks ago I couldn't wait to share the good news.  And for two weeks, the words haven't come. Two weeks ago we signed the intent to adopt papers for our sweet Baby M!  He has now been with us for over a year and we continue to fall more in love with him every day.  We have learned how important each day is.  We have learned that God knows our hearts and is not setting out to hurt us even when we can't see the big picture.  We have learned the value of family and the importance of prioritizing.  We have learned to use each moment of a "waiting period". Sometimes words don't come because we are so wrapped up in the moment.  But there is value i...
Read more

Confessions of a Control Freak

-
I used to be a control freak. Some of you who know me are probably scoffing and saying, “used to?”, but seriously, I am evolving. If there was ever a case for evolution, I would make a good study. Having a baby around definitely makes you rethink your priorities. I have been noticing it in the little things, and I thought I'd share a few examples: Control Freak Me: I have to take a shower! I'm going to check the mail – people will see me! Less-of-a-Control-Freak Me: I have to take a shower... sometime... Control Freak Me: You're not going to eat that right, it was on the floor! Less-of-a-Control-Freak Me: At least pick the cat hair off. Control Freak Me: We must eat three healthy square meals every day! Less-of-a-Control-Freak Me: I think I forgot about lunch... and possibly breakfast. Control Freak Me: Saturday is cleaning day! Top to bottom! Less-of-a-Control-Freak Me : We have guests coming over! Get the vacuum! Control Freak Me: Why w...
Read more