Martyr Mom

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True Confession:  I am a martyr mom.  I am not proud of this, but acceptance is the first step to recovery.  The martyr mom is the one who pushes on and tries to get everything done herself.  The martyr mom is the one who doesn't ask for help, but then gets frustrated when no one else steps up to the task.  The martyr mom is the one who, when told to take a break, says "just let me finish this" and then moves on to the next chore.  The martyr mom is the one who thinks she is "taking one for the team", but is in reality driving everyone else nuts.

How do I know this?  Because I am the Martyr Mom.  Last week I hurt my hand, but I wasn't going to let that stop me!  There was too  much to get done!  The laundry wasn't going to do itself, the dishes weren't going to magically be clean, and no fairy was going to make dinner for us.  So I pushed through the pain, did three loads of laundry, unloaded/loaded/and hand washed the dishes, and cooked spaghetti with homemade Alfredo sauce for dinner.

But why did I do it?  To take care of the family, of course!

Or... was it for a pat on the back?  Was it so I wouldn't be seen as lazy or a weakling?  Was it so that I could be seen as Super Mom?  Because if it really was to take care of and love on my family, then my priorities were out of wack.  Because my family had enough clean clothes.  The dishes weren't bothering them.  And Zach knows how to make a pretty mean pancake.  It's hard to stop and take a look at your motives.  Sometimes you don't like what you see.  But if you're a martyr mom like me, you're not really loving.  You're doing the best you can, but you have to ask yourself why you are pushing yourself so hard.  Clean laundry, an empty sink, and homecooked meals are great, but at what price?  And who are you really doing all this for?

Comments

  1. CarolFebruary 28, 2012 at 5:39 PM

    I think you should be working on a book, sweetie - you write beautifully :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. JaimeMarch 2, 2012 at 12:04 PM

    Oh Kali, you do have a gift for writing!! I love this entry:) As I was reading through your blogs, I came across this one. The Martyr Mom, hmmm....what's that? So I started reading..my eyes started to get teary. .......I'm a Martyr Mom!!! Everything you spoke of, is ME too. Wow, sometimes I need to let go and learn to relax. I need to not be afraid and let go and have fun!
    Thank you for writing this. It answered alot of questions about myself:) I just need to find a balance :)

    ReplyDelete

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