zach n kali

My mom's birthday is coming up.  A day that used to inspire joy now comes barreling at me, a reminder that she was too young to go.  The idea of milestone birthdays and anniversaries rings more shallow to me now. Don't wait to celebrate.  Don't put off a party or a celebration or a vacation together because it's not "a big one". My mom didn't make it to her 60th.  This year she would be 63 and I wish I could throw her the biggest damn party she'd ever seen.  Or surprise her with tickets to Broadway.  Don't push off celebrating.  I've been sitting in grief today.  I opened the pages of the second volume of Every Moment Holy: Death, Grief, and Hope, a gift from my grandmother. A gift for no occasion.  Be like her - buy the gift and send it when you think of someone.  Don't wait for a reason or an event.  You speak love when you do this.  Send the card, text the verse, leave a voicemail. The saved voicemails I have from my mom are some of my m

This year has been a whirlwind. Over the past four years, our family has been trying to leave Los Angeles.  We've craved open spaces and a slower pace or life. We prayed for jobs and open doors.  When our knocks weren't answered, we stepped out  in faith to continue fostering. We brought home our baby Samuel for six weeks before he went home to a relative.  Sharing tears with a stranger was holy experience as I handed him over to his aunt.  A few weeks later we brought home our little firecracker at two days old from a hospital in LA.  Reunification seemed highly unlikely, with adoption on the fast track.   Fast forward a very very long three and a half years (which will one day have their own story told), and within three days, we had an adoption finalization and a job offer out of state.  June 2021 and the doors were finally opening. We found a home in a beautiful neighborhood and closed on it within a month.  God made it abundantly clear that the time to go was now.   But th