Samuel
"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him" (1 Samuel 1:27).
After finally adjusting to the craziness of having three kids (it only took us about a year and a half, haha!) we decided to put our names back on the fostering list in August. During the months leading up to this, I spent time praying over the precious life that would join our family. Prayers for his or her safety, prayers for comfort, prayers for health and protection. As we got our room ready for the little one, I made a sign to go above the crib with 1 Samuel 1:27 written on it. It only seemed fitting. In my deepest heart I wanted this little one to know that he was already loved.
Not surprisingly, the day we went back on the list we got a call. A newborn baby boy, waiting in the NICU for a family. We were it. And oh how we loved him! He hadn't been named, and Samuel felt like the perfect choice. Our Sammy began to grow and thrive and smile those adorable gassy smiles. We had no information on his birth family, so while we took everything one day at a time, our attachment deepened and deepened at warp speed.
And as quickly as our foster journey with Sam has begun, it ended. Our social worker called, saying that relatives had come forward and were in the process of being approved for placement. Out of the blue, after six weeks of absolute silence. While our intention was fostering and not adoption, and our heads were prepared for this possibility, this beautiful baby that I had prayed for and been granted was being ripped out of my heart. That pain is not something you can prepare for. I had prayed for protection and health and comfort for this child - and I was able to offer him each of those things! How could they take him into the unknown? I thought the Lord was answering my prayer, allowing me to provide safety for this precious baby.
"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him" (1 Samuel 1:27).
Here's the thing. The chapter doesn't end there. 1 Samuel 1:28 follows with, "So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord".
Hannah received her gift with open hands. She cried out to the Lord for her heart's desire. And then she was faithful. She followed through on her promise to give her son over to the Lord. In no way could this have been easy for her. I'm sure there were countless times where, as she held her newborn close and smelled that newborn smell, she tried to talk her way out of it. As the world faded away with his first smile, I'm sure she tried to convince God that she had been kidding. But she was faithful.
If I, like Hannah, have prayed for this child, and God has answered my prayers, I must then be willing to let him go. It doesn't matter that I am not giving him to the Lord in the same way that Hannah did; he belongs to God, and while he might be out of my sight, he is never out of God's. My babies, each one of them, are on loan to me and must be held with hands wide open.
For this child I have prayed, and will continue to do so, trusting that the Lord loves my Samuel more than I ever could.
After finally adjusting to the craziness of having three kids (it only took us about a year and a half, haha!) we decided to put our names back on the fostering list in August. During the months leading up to this, I spent time praying over the precious life that would join our family. Prayers for his or her safety, prayers for comfort, prayers for health and protection. As we got our room ready for the little one, I made a sign to go above the crib with 1 Samuel 1:27 written on it. It only seemed fitting. In my deepest heart I wanted this little one to know that he was already loved.
Not surprisingly, the day we went back on the list we got a call. A newborn baby boy, waiting in the NICU for a family. We were it. And oh how we loved him! He hadn't been named, and Samuel felt like the perfect choice. Our Sammy began to grow and thrive and smile those adorable gassy smiles. We had no information on his birth family, so while we took everything one day at a time, our attachment deepened and deepened at warp speed.
And as quickly as our foster journey with Sam has begun, it ended. Our social worker called, saying that relatives had come forward and were in the process of being approved for placement. Out of the blue, after six weeks of absolute silence. While our intention was fostering and not adoption, and our heads were prepared for this possibility, this beautiful baby that I had prayed for and been granted was being ripped out of my heart. That pain is not something you can prepare for. I had prayed for protection and health and comfort for this child - and I was able to offer him each of those things! How could they take him into the unknown? I thought the Lord was answering my prayer, allowing me to provide safety for this precious baby.
"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him" (1 Samuel 1:27).
Hannah received her gift with open hands. She cried out to the Lord for her heart's desire. And then she was faithful. She followed through on her promise to give her son over to the Lord. In no way could this have been easy for her. I'm sure there were countless times where, as she held her newborn close and smelled that newborn smell, she tried to talk her way out of it. As the world faded away with his first smile, I'm sure she tried to convince God that she had been kidding. But she was faithful.
If I, like Hannah, have prayed for this child, and God has answered my prayers, I must then be willing to let him go. It doesn't matter that I am not giving him to the Lord in the same way that Hannah did; he belongs to God, and while he might be out of my sight, he is never out of God's. My babies, each one of them, are on loan to me and must be held with hands wide open.
For this child I have prayed, and will continue to do so, trusting that the Lord loves my Samuel more than I ever could.
Absolutely beautiful!
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