He Can

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My mom's birthday is coming up.  A day that used to inspire joy now comes barreling at me, a reminder that she was too young to go.  The idea of milestone birthdays and anniversaries rings more shallow to me now. Don't wait to celebrate.  Don't put off a party or a celebration or a vacation together because it's not "a big one". My mom didn't make it to her 60th.  This year she would be 63 and I wish I could throw her the biggest damn party she'd ever seen.  Or surprise her with tickets to Broadway.  Don't push off celebrating. 

I've been sitting in grief today.  I opened the pages of the second volume of Every Moment Holy: Death, Grief, and Hope, a gift from my grandmother. A gift for no occasion.  Be like her - buy the gift and send it when you think of someone.  Don't wait for a reason or an event.  You speak love when you do this.  Send the card, text the verse, leave a voicemail. The saved voicemails I have from my mom are some of my most treasured things.  

I had no plans to write today, but as I read the Forward, I needed to.  The author Douglas McKelvey says, "for the last leg of our mortal journey, we release all material goods we've accumulated, all comforts and entertainments and pleasures of this world, all illusions of our own power or mastery over life, and all temporal human relationships, and we grasp instead in our finally emptied hands, the hand of our Lord and Shepherd, who is the only constant, the only relationship that we do not release in that transition from life to death to death everlasting" (2021, p XIII).

I've written about being in the Holy Place of handing my mom over to Jesus, but the truth is that He was holding her along with us the entire time.  It was He who held her and carried her every day of her life.  He wasn't at death's door waiting to receive her.  It was us who released her as He continued on to bring her into the presence of the Father. This doesn't lessen the pain of her loss, but as I sit in that truth right now, I feel peace in knowing that that same God who sustained her is carrying me as well.  In the times when I can't, He can.


"I walk through the valley

of the shadow of death, and

You are with me. And that is enough.

You are with me. And that is all.

You are with me. And I am not alone"

-David McKelvey, 2021, p.127


Mckelvey, D. K. (2021). Every Holy Moment (Vol. 2). Rabbit Room Press.

Comments

  1. AnonymousAugust 10, 2022 at 9:07 PM

    Wonderful. Thank you for sharing this beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousAugust 11, 2022 at 5:06 AM

    Such beautiful words. Such timeless truths. Thanks for sharing!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousAugust 11, 2022 at 9:07 AM

    This is so beautiful. Yes, He was with your mom every day, carrying her when she couldn’t carry herself. Love you!

    ReplyDelete

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